The Halloween Spirit: Man Spends Years In Ogre Costume
WASHINGTON, D.C. – For some people, Halloween is more than just a yearly holiday – it’s a year-round lifestyle. One local man, identified to reporters... Read more.
College Republicans Baffled That People They Just Insulted Don’t Want To Spend Time Debating Them
AMERICAN UNIVERSITY – After multiple political organizations refused their invitation for a debate, the American University College Republicans (AUCRs) publicly... Read more.
Increased Professor’s Union Involvement Sparks New Day For On-Campus Activism
Around a year and a half after her arrest, graduate student Elaf Hasan and the coalition of students and faculty supporting her cause are still fighting to be heard... Read more.
Taylor Swift Releases New Songs On Civilian Population
UNITED NATIONS – An emergency session of the United Nations was called on Friday after Taylor Swift was found to have dropped four songs on a primarily civilian... Read more.
Songwriters Hub Spotlight #2: Birdcage
Edited by Jacob Saucier My therapist tells me that I need to be more optimistic, assume the best in people, look at the glass like it’s half full, all that jazz.... Read more.
Songwriters Hub Spotlight #1: Alizeh
Avid readers of The Rival American might recognize the name on the byline of this article as a regular satire writer for the paper. But my real passion is music,... Read more.
10 Things to Watch During Sex: AU Edition
If you’re reading this article, odds are your attention span is completely fried. Don’t take it as an individual failing; the modern world, full of screens and... Read more.
AU College Republicans are bringing a Neo-Nazi to campus
It might shock you to hear this, but the AU College Republicans are up to something really racist. On Friday, January 30, the club announced that Paul Ingrassia,... Read more.
AUCRS Disappointed They Did Not Get the Jan 6th Reunion Invite
Someone sounds mad...... Read more.
Recent Graduate has “Concepts of a Plan”
Calling you out... you know who you are.... Read more.
Naked Wonk Bus Arrested For Indecent Exposure
Wait... what do you mean in FRONT
of the Tenleytown Bus Stop?!?!?... Read more.
Gone, But Not Forgotten: Trump Admin Insists That Next Forever War Is What Cheney Would Have Wanted
Henry Kissinger sends his blessings too.... Read more.
AU College Republicans Really Hoping No One They Know Saw That Politico Article
Read serious reporting on AUCR's recent antics and chaotic meltdown... Read more.
National Guard Now Only Cracking Down on Non-Essential Crime
National Guard troops stationed in the nations capital have expressed frustration that, due to the recent government shutdown, they are now only able to clamp down... Read more.
Eric Trump Now Very Grateful to Have Never Received Birthday Card
Read what Eric Trump had to say about new developments on Trump's "interesting" Birthday Card gifts.... Read more.
