Where it all began. Silly. Satirical. Sometimes surprisingly good. We’ve psychoanalyzed the sex lives of AU students, exposed the spiritual toll of living on campus, and even written cute little fanfics about the Metrobus and Wonkbus?! This is where we throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks (or at least makes you laugh).
-
The Halloween Spirit: Man Spends Years In Ogre Costume
WASHINGTON, D.C. – For some people, Halloween is more than just a yearly holiday – it’s a year-round lifestyle. One local man, identified to reporters only as“Senator John Fetterman,” has certainly embodied this Halloween spirit with his years-long refusal to remove his ogre costume.According to those who know him, Fetterman wears the costume at all…
-
College Republicans Baffled That People They Just Insulted Don’t Want To Spend Time Debating Them
AMERICAN UNIVERSITY – After multiple political organizations refused their invitation for a debate, the American University College Republicans (AUCRs) publicly expressed disappointment that the AU College Democrats, Bipartisan Club, and Young Democratic Socialists of America, who they referred to as “stupid dum dum doofuses, were unwilling to join them in a civilized dialogue. “It greatly…
-
Taylor Swift Releases New Songs On Civilian Population
UNITED NATIONS – An emergency session of the United Nations was called on Friday after Taylor Swift was found to have dropped four songs on a primarily civilian area. While casualty numbers are still coming in, preliminary reports suggest that the release eradicated the city of Cleveland, Ohio, as well as all of its residents,…
-
Ed Sheeran Controversy Revitalizes Interest In “National Kick-A-Ginger-Day”
GILLETTE STADIUM – After dropping Macklemore from his latest tour for calling for a free Palestine, enlightened centrist and radio pest Ed Sheeran has inadvertently revived public attention both in the humanitarian crisis in the Middle East and the concept of ‘National Kick-a-Ginger Day,’ where everyone gets to kick any gingers they see without legal…
-
TPUSA GW Condemned for Posting Old Washington Commander’s Flag
George Washington University’s chapter of Turning Point USA has been widely criticized for a now deleted Instagram comment featuring a photo of white soldiers holding the flag of the Washington Commander’s old logo, prior to their modern rebranding to drop the previous, derogatory name. Critics accused the flag of not only celebrating a racist and…