Recent Stories
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Increased Professor’s Union Involvement Sparks New Day For On-Campus Activism
Around a year and a half after her arrest, graduate student Elaf Hasan and the coalition of students and faculty supporting her cause are still fighting to be heard by the administration. American University has long boasted of its decades-long history of passionate student activism on social and political issues, ranging from the Vietnam War…
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Taylor Swift Releases New Songs On Civilian Population
UNITED NATIONS – An emergency session of the United Nations was called on Friday after Taylor Swift was found to have dropped four songs on a primarily civilian area. While casualty numbers are still coming in, preliminary reports suggest that the release eradicated the city of Cleveland, Ohio, as well as all of its residents,…
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Ed Sheeran Controversy Revitalizes Interest In “National Kick-A-Ginger-Day”
GILLETTE STADIUM – After dropping Macklemore from his latest tour for calling for a free Palestine, enlightened centrist and radio pest Ed Sheeran has inadvertently revived public attention both in the humanitarian crisis in the Middle East and the concept of ‘National Kick-a-Ginger Day,’ where everyone gets to kick any gingers they see without legal…
