Recent Stories
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The Rival American’s Guide To Woke Sharia Law
Now, we know what you’re thinking. “How can it be woke AND sharia? Isn’t sharia pretty not woke by definition?” Well, the impossible becomes possible in New York City, or, as it’s been renamed, Mamdanistan. But since this January, it’s not just been possible, but mandatory, under the stewardship of Mayor Zohran Mamdani (who, in…
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CEO Of Sex Faces Hostile Takeover
SEX INC. – Stock markets took a tumble today as Jensen Huang, the recently resigned CEO of NVIDIA, announced his intentions to launch a hostile takeover of Sex Inc., and take the title of CEO of Sex from ‘Spider-Man’ actor Jacob Batalon. Huang, 63, reportedly plans on buying the majority of Sex Inc’s shares, which…
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“Tala-Freak Off” To Be Hosted In Bender Arena
BENDER ARENA – As AU scrambles to reclaim its top liberal college spot in the wake of the “blue tsunami,” Bender Arena has been booked for a once in a lifetime celebration of James Talarico’s Texas win. One star guest has already been announced by Talarico personally early this weekend; a fellow Southern senator. “My…
