TENLEYTOWN – A group of ‘undercover’ ICE agents congregated in the parking lot of Restoration Church, located directly across the street from American University, early Wednesday morning. However, much to their collective frustration, they were unable to enter the campus proper without activating their ankle monitors, which go off whenever any of them get within fifty feet of a school.
“It’s just not fair,” said Bill Brown-Shirt, one of the agents who was present in the parking lot. “We were right there! We could see all those College Republicans just begging for their civil liberties to be stomped on, we could hear the school administration pleading with us for a chance to kiss the ring some more, but we can’t go in there because of some stupid judge’s court order. It’s ridiculous.”
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