THE WHITE HOUSE – As Halloween arrives today, the White House announced that Melania Trump will be leading the White House Halloween decorations this year. In a shift from the usual, the First Lady announced that, “We will be going so all out that you’ll question reality itself.” In an exclusive preview with the Rival American, the First Lady showed off some decorations planned to go up. It’s safe to say, they were absolutely horrifying. 

From the account of the Rival reporters on the scene, it is alleged that Susan Dell, wife of Dell CEO Michael Dell, was standing in the dingy closet, slowly waving. The reporters attempted to back away from Dell, but were tragically pulled into the closet, subsequently being assimilated into the White House lizard people mass. Once the mass spewed forward from the closet, more planned Halloween decorations could be seen. Amongst others, there appeared to be a human sized brain worm, a giraffe, and an evil butler. 

Be careful out there, folks. Happy Halloween.