TENLEYTOWN BUS STOP – Wonk Bus, a distant relative of Wonkbus, was recently arrested by the American University Police Department (AUPD) for indecent exposure after it drove around campus completely butt naked, exposing itself to thousands of students and faculty in the process. In a statement given to the Rival, the bus, which lapped the campus (as well as certain parts of Tenleytown, but that’s less important) multiple times before being apprehended, claimed that it did so as part of fraternity hazing.
“American University has no tolerance for open acts of sexual deviancy committed by anyone who isn’t a full-blown fraternity member or an AUSG Senator,” said AU President Jon Alger. “I am grateful to AUPD for their eventual action. This pervert will no longer be allowed on campus, unless it asks the court really nicely.”
Fortunately for the bus, charges against it were dropped after a bottle of wine was spilled on crucial files by US Attorney for the District of Columbia Jeanine Pirro in a drunken fugue.
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